By Mina Todosijevic

Since midterms have paused temporarily, there’s finally some time to indulge in some good old procrastination. And on that note, please enjoy these fantastic alien conspiracy theories.

Alien conspiracy theories tend not to question whether or not aliens exist; rather, they focus on evidence of their existence, as well as ways in which the government hides their existence. They tend to treat alien existence as a matter of fact and faith.

If you’ve ever seen the History Channel show Aliens, you’ve been subjected to the step-by-step way alien-conspiracy arguments are built. Alien theories are nestled somewhere between familiarity and the unknown, and they often involve explanations of the world’s great unsolved mysteries. The arguments of alien conspiracy theorists tend to be very believable; however, just because something could be happening doesn’t mean it is.

Aliens in Christianity + the Bible

There is a school of thought that believes that many of the ancient gods humans worshipped were actually alien visitors, explaining their different looks, behaviour and powers.

One theory states that Jesus himself was an alien and that that would explain both his supernatural powers and his virgin birth (i.e. artificial insemination). Aliens in the Bible is another popular subject among alien conspiracy theorists. People link aliens and demons, claiming that quotes such as 1 Corinthians 15:40 (“There are also celestial bodies, and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another.”), or descriptions of demons, refer to extraterrestrials.

A warning sign outside of Area 51

Photo by Matt Huff

Area 51 + The CIA

The US government, in particular the CIA, are often the villains who try to hide the truth in alien conspiracy theories. A lack of widespread belief in aliens (when they “clearly” do exist) is thought to be the cover-up work of the US government. Conspiracy theorists go so far as to suggest John F. Kennedy was assassinated by the CIA for demanding to know what they knew about aliens. Spooky.

While most all secretive government facilities get accused of hiding alien research (think Roger from American Dad), Area 51 is undoubtedly one of the most famous. The leading idea is that the facilities are being used to reverse engineer a UFO, and conduct research on its contents. It is also the supposed “hiding place” of the infamous Roswell UFO.

However, what gives government/alien theories the most traction (other than the fact that the US government is secretive enough as it is) is the immense amount of people who say they have interacted with aliens. Most curious are the former government workers who say they were part of, or witnessed, experimentation with aliens or UFOs. In fact, Canada’s former national defence minister, Paul Hellyer, has stated he believes aliens do exist. According to him (in this interview) he has received reports of over 80 types of aliens. He also explicitly refers to the experimentation going on in Area 51 in Nevada.

Pyramids in Egypt

Photo by Mathew Knott

Ancient Empires

Thousands and thousands of years ago, stunning works of art and architecture were being created by sprawling empires located oceans apart. Pyramids were being built both in Central America and in Egypt. Both cultures shared a similar level of knowledge of astronomy and architecture, despite having no way of interacting with one another. While this may have been just the greatest coincidence, people believe the gods these cultures worshipped were in fact (wait for it) aliens.

Certain sculptures found from those periods, which are commonly thought to be of birds, bear an alarming resemblance to airplanes. This theory is complemented by the fact that Mesoamerican pyramids have flat tops—perfect for landing an aircraft.

Whether or not you believe in green men, alien lore is absolutely fascinating and entertaining, and an impromptu research topic I would highly recommend this reading week.